Counter World Clockwise

“I used to scream out loud at God and question, why he hated me.”

                                                                 Sara Adyms - Today

A smile, a tear, a laugh, a sob…

Acknowledging our humanity; the hardest thing some of us ever do.   To admit that we fumble, to admit that we falter, to admit that we stumble, to admit that we are imperfect.

It’s a terrifying thing to do.

We teach that we need to be independant, and so success is garnered by this measure; yet how can we measure up?  In truth, what we are teaching is the inability to ask for help when it is needed.

To ask for help, makes you needy.

To cry, makes you dramatic.

To hurt, makes you weak.

To need comfort, makes you dependant.

To have faith, is to be gulliable.

 To have dreams, is to be foolish.

We lack the ability to be patient with those who reach out for help, I think, because others have never done so for us.   We lack the patience to be supportive, because we are needing that support ourselves and don’t know how to reach out for it.

…It really is a mad little world; here’s to admitting it.

“to mend the bruises of my spirit.”

                            Aria Sharp - The High Cost of Living

Time changes everything, including who we are.  Without regret, who are we?   If there was never a failure, then what would we have left to learn?  In life, there are tears, regrets, pain and sorrow.  We must learn to understand that everything happens for a reason; even the things that cause suffering, or loss.  It is a hard thing to grasp, and perhaps we are not meant to.  In the beginning, we would rush to change things, to undo the events that hurt us so; but in the end, we must learn to understand that it is not our place to do such.

We are made better for our sufferings, and that is why we are here.

You cannot truly appreciate something unless you are made to realize just how valueable it really is.

We all wish horrible things would never happen.  We long for our loved ones returned, for the unexusible genocides and tragic mistakes of our history to simply not be, to have never existed.

But we must learn instead, that we have no way of knowing what could have been, or will be.   To change what has already happened, you risk changing who you are, we are.

 …And for better, or for worse, that is not our right.   We do not understand the expanses of time, and to think on such a primitive level is to do injustice to ourselves, and to the universe itself.

On a more basic leve; for all the things I wish I could have changed, I will trust that I am better off having made the mistakes, and hope to have learned from them than to wish them away.

We choose our actions; there is no time machine, nor should we use one.

…so perhaps we should learn from the past as well.

“of half-assed thoughts and broken dreams.”

                         Sara Adyms - Tangle-weave

The mind is a tricky piece of humanity that doesn’t always play fair when it comes to reality.

“What is real?”   asked Blajeny, in Madeline L’Engle’s “A wind in the door.”, as Meg Wallace struggles to place a sense of order to the sureal events that once again seem to be unfolding.  It is a question commonly asked in this story and will remain to be one that even the wisest man strugles to answer.  “What is real?” 

 Everything in this world has a name, even if it is different from person to person.  It is not the object being named that is changed, but someone else’s perception of it.  Without understanding this, you fail to realize the possibilities that exist for several things of the same name to be different, and vice-versa; how many things of a different name, are in reality, the same?

 A particular topic that comes to mind bodes of religion, but I don’t have to get into details for someone to expend energy exploring it.  There are some who would grow red in the face and delcare blasphamy over the very mention of such a suggestion; but in the end, it is not thier perception that matters.

 It matters not, what name we give to things; they will exist as what they are, regardless of what we call them.  

Having said that, it is just as important to understand that a name is the most powerful thing that can be placed upon another.   With a name, comes existance, and without a name, we are lost to everything.   With a name, we are given our identity, whether real or false.  With a name, we lose ourselves, and can be changed.   

In the book ”So you want to be a wizard.”,  by Diane Duane,  the readers are shown that sometimes it is the power of a name that can determine everything, including who we are or could one day be.   In the Lone Power’s name, the last symbol is a circle; translated to ‘forever-never’, perhaps trapping him to exist as he is, eternally.   But Juinita changes the last symbol of his name, drawing an arrow from the center of the circle; bestowing upon him a way out of the dark cycle that he has trapped himself in…he does not have to take it, and perhaps never will; but there becomes a path out, if he so wishes it…all because of a new name.

A name…something that seemingly means so little, has started wars, destroyed lives, scorned, mocked, praised, worshipped, validated, justified…

A name is more than a word, it is who we are.

…sad, it is, that so few would realize this.

Sadder still, how many wouldn’t understand.