Counter World Clockwise

“At all the things they’ve called you, and find them in the mirror.”

                                                   Sara Adyms - ”Beautiful”

“Can you make me beautiful?”

So dangerous is such a statement that there can be nothing deep and lingering sadness for understanding what exactly is being asked with such a simply worded request. 

There is nothing beautiful about beauty when it comes to the destructive nature of this murderous word.   Human beings have warped the delicate senses of what it means and replaced it with an image of which few can ever aspire to achieve but for perhaps fleeting moments if the world is charitiable.

Tears, frustration, hopelessness, self-hatred, despair, envy, anger and suicide are all bi-products of this word when it has been abused.  Sadly, not everyone who falls into the trap of this illusion will find thier way out unbruised, and many will never rise from it at all, choosing to give away to what feels as if it were an overwhelming burden.

And so to that, I would offer a gentle reminder to those who may hav forgotten; there are things far greater than that sort of beauty, and far more important than our bodies.

Stand outside and close your eyes, feel the sun upon your face; it is warm, even if the days are cold.  we don’t really take the time to do it anymore, and it’s kind of sad.

Lay down on your back and stare at the stars during the night, and just gaze at the moon; it’s worth the drive to find somewhere without lights, and there is something just breathtaking about just how small we really are.

Go dancing in the rain, without a raincoat;  Ditch the umbrella too.  The sensation of the raindrops isn’t exactly something that can be duplicated in the shower, and there is something wonderous about the wind, whether fierce or gentle, if you care to take the time to acknowledge it.

Cry…Everything that would bring a tear, or cause you sadness, let it go….embrace it, and then move on.

Forgive…because we only have this short time to move past what we were and become what we are.

Laugh; because there is something hilarious about the things we would have thought so important just a moment ago when you finally understand how insignifigant it really is.

And then look in the mirror…

Funny how it changes things.

“and I know it’s knowing that gives you control.”

                                         Aria Sharp - “Imprint”

An oh, so complicated contemplation of circular conditioning of which we acknowledge but ignore; that is until it tears us open from the inside.  How silly we are to let the things we have no control over influence us to such a degree that it degrades our joy of living; however residiual it may be.

 We have no control over death.   We have no control on whether the faiths we hold are true, or if they are just delusions created by another that we long to believe for fear of nothing to believe in at all.  We have no control over what happens when we close our eyes for that last time, and we don’t always have control over when they will finally close; but we do have control over what we do when they are still open.  We have control over the choices that we make, and the acts of which we place upon others, even if we cannot control the actions that they would put upon ourselves.   

We cannot always control the things we feel or the way we think, but we can choose to be constructive with it.   We may not be able to undo something, but we can try to overcome the obstacles they may have given us. 

One could consider our lives, the ultimate test of who we are.  It is not what is done, but who is created from the trial that we live on our short and turmulteous journey in this universe.

To consider that each soul is universal in kind, and not limited by the laws of man is to breath in and taste the consideration that perhaps some of those things matter less than we realize.  Our bodies are mortal and our souls are held back by flesh and animalistic instict and desires.   We are flawed in that we destroy more than we create, and that for the most part, we destroy to create; and that is a very sad realization.

Only by remembering that we will not always be mortal, will we remember that we should not live our lives as if our actions have no bearing on our future; because we are do not have to limit ourselves to a mortal mind and soul…we just have to reach beyond ourself to find something greater than ourselves.

Whatever that may be.

“But, I’ll wait, I will not desert you, to the dark days; that threaten to consume you.”

              Sara Adyms - “Haunted”

The morning sky is a soft amber hinting at a deeper shade of coral this day, lining a dusky-blue sky and giving color to an otherwise sleepy dawn.  The run rises each morning and will continue to do so until the earth no longer spins upon its axis, bringing us closer to the destination that we are not aware we even travel in search of.

The brilliance of dawn gives memory to the lifting darkness, but does not ease the passage of our days.  There is an imprint of the past upon the warm radiation of light and beauty to remind of darker times and give weight and balance to what now exists in the moment; without that rememberance, how could one ever appreciate the gifts recieved?

Careful, one must be however to not fall into the trap that can so easily seduce even the brightest of souls.  While life is a journey of mis-steps, stumbles and redemption, it should be remembered one important detail that is so easily neglected.

We were never meant to walk it alone.

While it is true that there are some doorway that can be shown, and there are some in which we must walk through alone, it is not that ARE alone, but that we must take those first steps of our own will and of our own want of it.

It is not that we are alone, but that life is worth nothing if you do not live it…

We are not shadows, choose your footsteps carefully.

 ”Content with myself, at the end of the day; and stay, that way.

                          Sara Adyms - “Things like That”

We are a fragile, broken race of beings; who just doesn’t seem to get it yet.

Money, power, envy, greed, jealousy, pity, apathy, fear, superiority, hatred, revenge, mockery, selfishness, pride; they are all such weighty things that strip us of our souls, a little piece at a time, until we have forgotten that we indeed have them.  

To feel, to love, to live, laugh, breath, care, have empathy, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, faith…to exist without caring how the world will judge you, but on a level of understanding that at the end of the day, and at the end of our lives, that we must live with the choices we make…and will be have shame or sorrow for how we lived?

…I want to be content with myself at the end of the day.

We should all remember what that feels like.