Counter World Clockwise

“At all the things they’ve called you, and find them in the mirror.”

                                                   Sara Adyms - ”Beautiful”

“Can you make me beautiful?”

So dangerous is such a statement that there can be nothing deep and lingering sadness for understanding what exactly is being asked with such a simply worded request. 

There is nothing beautiful about beauty when it comes to the destructive nature of this murderous word.   Human beings have warped the delicate senses of what it means and replaced it with an image of which few can ever aspire to achieve but for perhaps fleeting moments if the world is charitiable.

Tears, frustration, hopelessness, self-hatred, despair, envy, anger and suicide are all bi-products of this word when it has been abused.  Sadly, not everyone who falls into the trap of this illusion will find thier way out unbruised, and many will never rise from it at all, choosing to give away to what feels as if it were an overwhelming burden.

And so to that, I would offer a gentle reminder to those who may hav forgotten; there are things far greater than that sort of beauty, and far more important than our bodies.

Stand outside and close your eyes, feel the sun upon your face; it is warm, even if the days are cold.  we don’t really take the time to do it anymore, and it’s kind of sad.

Lay down on your back and stare at the stars during the night, and just gaze at the moon; it’s worth the drive to find somewhere without lights, and there is something just breathtaking about just how small we really are.

Go dancing in the rain, without a raincoat;  Ditch the umbrella too.  The sensation of the raindrops isn’t exactly something that can be duplicated in the shower, and there is something wonderous about the wind, whether fierce or gentle, if you care to take the time to acknowledge it.

Cry…Everything that would bring a tear, or cause you sadness, let it go….embrace it, and then move on.

Forgive…because we only have this short time to move past what we were and become what we are.

Laugh; because there is something hilarious about the things we would have thought so important just a moment ago when you finally understand how insignifigant it really is.

And then look in the mirror…

Funny how it changes things.

“and I know it’s knowing that gives you control.”

                                         Aria Sharp - “Imprint”

An oh, so complicated contemplation of circular conditioning of which we acknowledge but ignore; that is until it tears us open from the inside.  How silly we are to let the things we have no control over influence us to such a degree that it degrades our joy of living; however residiual it may be.

 We have no control over death.   We have no control on whether the faiths we hold are true, or if they are just delusions created by another that we long to believe for fear of nothing to believe in at all.  We have no control over what happens when we close our eyes for that last time, and we don’t always have control over when they will finally close; but we do have control over what we do when they are still open.  We have control over the choices that we make, and the acts of which we place upon others, even if we cannot control the actions that they would put upon ourselves.   

We cannot always control the things we feel or the way we think, but we can choose to be constructive with it.   We may not be able to undo something, but we can try to overcome the obstacles they may have given us. 

One could consider our lives, the ultimate test of who we are.  It is not what is done, but who is created from the trial that we live on our short and turmulteous journey in this universe.

To consider that each soul is universal in kind, and not limited by the laws of man is to breath in and taste the consideration that perhaps some of those things matter less than we realize.  Our bodies are mortal and our souls are held back by flesh and animalistic instict and desires.   We are flawed in that we destroy more than we create, and that for the most part, we destroy to create; and that is a very sad realization.

Only by remembering that we will not always be mortal, will we remember that we should not live our lives as if our actions have no bearing on our future; because we are do not have to limit ourselves to a mortal mind and soul…we just have to reach beyond ourself to find something greater than ourselves.

Whatever that may be.

“But, I’ll wait, I will not desert you, to the dark days; that threaten to consume you.”

              Sara Adyms - “Haunted”

The morning sky is a soft amber hinting at a deeper shade of coral this day, lining a dusky-blue sky and giving color to an otherwise sleepy dawn.  The run rises each morning and will continue to do so until the earth no longer spins upon its axis, bringing us closer to the destination that we are not aware we even travel in search of.

The brilliance of dawn gives memory to the lifting darkness, but does not ease the passage of our days.  There is an imprint of the past upon the warm radiation of light and beauty to remind of darker times and give weight and balance to what now exists in the moment; without that rememberance, how could one ever appreciate the gifts recieved?

Careful, one must be however to not fall into the trap that can so easily seduce even the brightest of souls.  While life is a journey of mis-steps, stumbles and redemption, it should be remembered one important detail that is so easily neglected.

We were never meant to walk it alone.

While it is true that there are some doorway that can be shown, and there are some in which we must walk through alone, it is not that ARE alone, but that we must take those first steps of our own will and of our own want of it.

It is not that we are alone, but that life is worth nothing if you do not live it…

We are not shadows, choose your footsteps carefully.

 ”Content with myself, at the end of the day; and stay, that way.

                          Sara Adyms - “Things like That”

We are a fragile, broken race of beings; who just doesn’t seem to get it yet.

Money, power, envy, greed, jealousy, pity, apathy, fear, superiority, hatred, revenge, mockery, selfishness, pride; they are all such weighty things that strip us of our souls, a little piece at a time, until we have forgotten that we indeed have them.  

To feel, to love, to live, laugh, breath, care, have empathy, kindness, compassion, forgiveness, faith…to exist without caring how the world will judge you, but on a level of understanding that at the end of the day, and at the end of our lives, that we must live with the choices we make…and will be have shame or sorrow for how we lived?

…I want to be content with myself at the end of the day.

We should all remember what that feels like.

“Of the life, you’ve hidden from me.”

                                    Sara Adyms - “Sanctity”

The sun is out again; and I am thankful.   The bitter chill of winter hangs heavy sometimes, strangling the energy from our bodies until we are left an empty shell of what we would like to be.   The white clouds are nearly transparent and yet so easily seen from where I sit, watching them; thin wisps of cotton-white to replace the overcast blizzard of dull grey.  Dark blue patches can be seen in places and there is more silver on the horizen, but we could all make due with this day of sunshine.

Be aware of how fragile things are, how quickly they can vanish, and how impactful they truly can be.   Dare to be what your dreams ask of you, or learn the taste of regret when those days are suddenly past; as you realize the days that have redeemed now outnumber the days you have left to spend.

Living is an artform; do not ignore the canvas.

“I always wanted, that myself.”

                    Tori Amos - Winter

The sky is clear and still, beautiful with it’s blue winter haze and brilliant sunshine.   There is life among the death of winter; for is not really a death as much as it is a patient slumber.   The bare branches hold gems of green inside of them; they wait for the bitter winds to warm so that they may no longer seek shelter inside the calloused skin of tree’s bark.  Beneath the dirty snow, marred by footprints, exhaust fumes and the daily spoils of our world lies grass and flowers, longing to lift themselves towards the warmth of our sun…but yet, they cannot yet; less the cruel chill of winter slay them outright; shriveling the fragile skin bruising the delicate flesh and winsome petals.

Humans are but another season, rotating through the hardships and beauty of each one; sometimes unable to appreciate everything that exists within it.  Sometimes though, we just need a reminder.

“We’ll be more than a Memory.”

                          Aria Sharp - One More Moment

Time slips through our hands like sand within an hour-glass.  We feel the grains between our fingers, and let them fall from our palm as we lift our head to the sun and laugh at all that has ever been real.

“What Is Real?”  We so often ask, escaping with the question but never quite finding the answer.  “Who are we to trust in that there will be a tomorrow, and that tomorrow will not end us with promises that cannot be kept?”

An archiac dream that we cannot awake from leaves us screaming into our memories, searching for that moment of truth in which we might finally understand what it is that holds us here.

“Follow the Rabbit” said the cheshire cat to Alice, encouraging her descent into a mad world that does not wait for our comprehension.  And so Alice did, and so the dream ends with her waking, not quite sure what was real and what was only a bewildering vision of our subconcious ideas and curiusities.

Someone to hold us, comfort us, and tell us that the world is real.

“Time will erase the past from the memory from the present, like words written upon stone that will soon turn to sand, eroded by the water and then washed away.  Who will remember, when there is no one left who knows what the rock once said?  Who will remember the stone for what it was, and when it too is reduced to pebbles and then sand, and then nothing at all?  For time erases the past from the memory from the present, so mote it will be.”

 But the joy of life is bright, filled with things that move us forward into existance.

Embrace life, and find comfort in all that ever was because Some things, not even time can touch.

“I’m not blaming you for what happens next, Regrets.”

                                                     Sara Adyms - “Regrets”

The world is alive with death;  It is as if we have all gone mad and forgotten why we live.  It’s an exhausting thing to watch the world around us slowly die, and it gets harder and harder to watch faith disolve into something of which is impossible to understand.   It isn’t hard to feel alone in faith these days, knowing little as to who you can trust with the burdens we bear in our life.   It’s a maddness, a disease, and if we look too closely, can we see it coming?   One would think it beter to close our eyes and wait until the very end so that we do not have to think about the consequences of our action or inaction.

The world is alive with death…and we are all simply waiting for it to happen.

The question being, to what end?

“Maybe then, maybe, I wouldn’t have to scream”

                                               Aria Sharp - “Believe”

We are given signs pointing us in the right direction, but so often do we miss even the most obvious of them.  It is doubtful that we do so on purpose, and so often does the phrase “waiting for a sign” slip into the mind and off the tongue of no one in particular, to some cause or another. 

It could be that sometimes we just aren’t looking for one when it hits us directly between the eyes and calls our name.  It could be that we don’t even realize we are lost yet, and so blindly, cheerfully skip down the wrong path.  Sometimes, I have no doubt that we just don’t like the signs that we do see and so pretend we don’t see them.

A paradox of lonliness, confusion and pride mingled with skeptisism, optimism and dependence; oh, how broken we truly are!   Do not look so closely at each circumstance so that you jump at shadows, but do not close your eyes to the indications before you that might truly be what you weren’t looking for.

Take the barriers of language and see the world from another’s eyes, and you might notice something that you missed before.   Remove the caution and replace with wisdom and perhaps you’ll find a kinship that has no explanation, pardoned from realism with a healthy dose of faith.

We are the world, a piece of a whole, take up the questions, answers unknown.  Kindred minds, so much alike, but what to do, if none, you find?

…what a wonderful thought; to exist without expectation.

“did anybody notice?”

                          Aria Sharp - “Sanctum”

A tear, a story, lost within a memory.  One day, through war or nature, this world will end.   Science declares that we freeze to death…if we don’t burn to death.  This would proclaim that in a few million years, it won’t matter what we did or who we were because there will be no one to remember it. 

Does this just not further suggest that to every end and every means, we exist to further our own souls, learn from the world around us and help others achieve that balance that so few of us seem capeable of achieving?

As we question our own divinity or entropy, I hope that we can remember that everything happens for a reason.

At the end of the day, what matters the most?